Aadiator: The Silent Ares

It is ironical that my 49th post was about death and my 50th post would be about one of the most numbing deaths in my life. I would lie if i say i cried, i'm not that big on crying, but yes, the sadness i feel is almost indescribable, my close friends are also similarly placed. So, i shall not endeavour to describe the collective agony that we have gone through, the helplessness and unfairness that we have experienced. What I shall write about is how he shaped my life.

We met: It was the july of 2005, and a few scared newly graduated kids were sent to live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, JUIT. It is not clear how me and jha first met, but one of my most distinct memories is on how many levels we had connected. Both of us had dropped, practically been raised by 1 parent, had a similar taste in music and girls. I think we really became friends because of Sonal, that and the fact that he was almost fearless, nothing fazed him except the little things: tests, studies, teachers. He was the most free guy i had ever met and that freedom was infectious. I longed for that kind of freedom and in time he really taught me how to be free, while almost everyone struggled with our bonds, he, despite his bonds soared and gave me the strength to soar as well. He taught me how to not care about stupid shit.

We lived: JUIT became us against the world, some of our best friends could never figure out what babbhores was and how we came about it, it was like a clique within a group. We spent countless nights in each others' company discussing every single topic under the moon, girls being a major one discussed with more vigour and colour than the others. Embarrassingly we both loved Bryan Adams and surprisingly he studied rather well listening to adams, another thing he taught me, he taught me how to be a teacher, to have patience and search for alternatives when none was in sight. I still remember the drunken hazes in which he would come to me, and ask to be taken care of, he taught me how to take care and also how not to make an ass of myself when inebriated. He found love, and they fought but the passion never died down, even though both might have gone through hell, but they remained together, he taught me to be passionate, but never to give up. The useless fights he used to pick up, he only beat himself up. When i had to go to get a head CT, he was right there beside me, scared shitless, but being brave all the same. He taught me how to be there for friends no matter what.

We had fun: He was the one with whom i shared my first joint, he was the one with whom i could always expect a yes even if every one had said no. All my friends, at some level are, pragmatists, me the chief among them, but he was the anomaly, HE was the dreamer. In a recent conversation with Anna, wo raja beta tha, wo duniya ke hisaab se nahi duniya uske hisaab se chalti thi...including all of us. This I say with unabashed pride "Most of the stupid shit I have done was usually inspired by him"

I never, even in my darkest hour, ever thought that i would have to eulogise one of my friends so soon, but such is the cruelty of life, its indifference to hopes and love. I am sad, that such a long time went by and i could never meet him, it was a fault on both our parts, but what i want to repeat here is the last thing that transpired between us.

"Jha, meri bangalore mein naukri lag gayi hai, ab to pakka hyderabad aa raha hoon, tu bas ruk"
Sadly, he didn't stop, but this is not goodbye, how can i say goodbye to someone who made me what I am today. So farewell my friend, we might not meet soon, but we will meet eventually, all of us will be at the same place eventually.

To Aditya Jha, the man who taught me a lot about how to live. To jhaji, may you rest peacefully, To the Chakkowman: your time was short....but spectacular.