Matar Paneer

The titile of this particular blog post is symbolic rather than about a delicious vegetarian treat, the symbolism of matar paneer is financial security and risk, but lets start at the very beginning of the thought, what is matar paneer, why is it important and why oh why do we love its taste. The answer is very simple, it starts with our society and more importantly marriage.

As a modern indian man (i consider myself so) there is still a very high possibility of my marriage being arranged by my parents and their relatives and people of x,y,z standing in various friendships with my parents and their relatives, and thus is the origin of such a business deal, and lets not romanticise the indian arranged marriage, it IS a business deal where both parties negotiate and search to get the best deal for their offspring. The girl is expected to be beautiful, fair, dutiful, fair, religious, fair, loving, nurturing, fair and must have an aversion to jeans and other such western outfits and did i mention fair?

The boy needs to be financially well off, not a drunkard or a smoker (but if financially very well off, this isn't a deal breaker), should not be a wife beater (still not a deal breaker folks if the family is old money, with lots of new money coming in), looks hardly matter and Love will happen, eventually. The fact of the matter is that the boy must be able to provide matar paneer for his wife and himself.

And here comes the trepidation of the job, to get a good wife (read fair), one needs to have a good job, that pays atleast above 5-6 lpa and to get that job, one needs to be have either amazing skills, or have an amazing education, so boys get that amazing education with those extraordinary fee, which saddles them with a crushing debt for the next 5-7 years (some marry to wipe out that debt). Now, to continue earning, the boy has to perform day in day out at the job, which by its definition is something extremely undesirable and which should be avoided at all costs, which paradoxically cuts into the time spent with the wife and then there is actually no time for the love to blossom.

In a job he hates, in a marriage that is not able to blossom, the boy soldiers on doing something he usually hates, buries his dreams because to go from "matar paneer" to "roti and pyaaz" is unthinkable coupled with a pressure from parents and in laws to continue with the matar paneer....so in the end the boy is holding a drink and telling his friends about what could've been...

So guys, marry for love...ladki matar paneer na hone par gaali to degi, magar she won't begrudge it (I think....i could be wrong) :p