The Delusion of Eloquence: Agley Mod pe Maut Khadi Hai, Marne ki bhi kya jaldi hai V.21

A little bit of sadness:

My grandmother turned 100, the celebration was epic, here was a human who has seen the world literally transform in front of her. We lost her in August, uncharacteristically, gone peacefully in her sleep on a balmy august morning. I knew the day was coming, as all death comes - but knowing something is about to happen doesn't lessen its load when it happens. This was my last grandparent, an entire generation of my lineage has lived and gone. Ave to the centurion, you live on.

I'm writing this one a little faster than i have been doing in the past couple of years, what I've realised is that I get distracted really easily, that's why one of my favourite lines from a movie is "Your focus needs more focus" (Jackie Chan to Jaden Smith in Karate Kid). This realisation dawned upon me when the missus (feels so strange to write this) sent me an Instagram reel. That was a real trip down a rabbit hole, i realised that i had been flicking videos for the best part of 2 hours. Its so addictive, the constant barrage of bite sized stimulation that leaves you wanting more.

See, i got distracted this time as well. It is like a drug, we keep getting hit and keep tripping, living our greatest life on a stage of perfection, making the unreal - real. Ranting about social media on social media. a theme that i have picked up multiple times on these blog posts. This brings me to my gripe, writing requires an incredible amount of discipline, peace of mind, and entering a state of lucid dreaming. Creating your story in your head visualising it, manipulating it and when the picture is perfect - describing the scene through your words. This is what i try to do, but the next AP Dhillon backed reel pops up in my messages "Kehndi hundi si" and all the focus evaporates. My focus really needs more focus.

My customary rage against the machine aside, this is probably the 12th installment of my birthday blog, carrying this has been a privilege of my life, though only 2 people are really excited about it other than me - Gera Babu (wouldn't exactly call him excited) and the Missus. Gera babu knows that a mention of him in this blog signifies me remembering him and continuing a long standing tradition. 

The missus on the other hand is definitely excited about me writing, saying something along the lines of "It is one of the reason that I thought that you were good for something. Currently in the husband ratings I'm slightly above "good for nothing" this should deteriorate in a couple of seasons - stay tuned for updates on my relative ranking. Its been an interesting year to say the least, we were in Corona season 2, this was a hard hitting season cause nobody was spared from the cruel lash of fate. We were stuck at home and i discovered that i'm more than handy in the kitchen (ninja with a knife). I was doing about 80% of the work, the missus just used to add the ingredients, spices and stand over the stove to cook the dish (I'm being generous at 20%). I have gotten to learn a lot about me since the nuptials and I've realised that like with everything in life being married is not always rainbows and butterflies, but neither is it doom and gloom. Its like a great biryani, amazing till you bite into an elaichi - to be quietly kept in the corner of your plate and progressing onto a leg piece.

Also, i must commend the missus on her timing for travel. We, somehow, are always ahead of the restrictions being imposed by the government curve. If it were me i wouldn't have managed to step out of the house during this time, but she ensured that we travelled a little if not a lot.

- Kicked off the year with a trip to Ranthambore - despite having seen so many tigers i still get the butterflies when i see one and this time as well RTR didn't disappoint. Saw Arrowhead mating on the approach to the Ranthambore fort - Almost started a riot. A random girl definitely broke her bum trying to see them. Saw Siddhi give us a private audience and then she disappeared into the mist.

- Went to Kabini and bheemeshwari, this safari was the first time i had the power of cheat codes - more on this later  - probably going to coincide with Intl. tiger day. Ironically, Kabini is not about tigers, its about blacky (a melanistic leopard). Saw elephants in the wild for the first time, its a different scary when a tusker stares you down.

- Then the wave hit and we pressed pause on everything - the only travelling that happened was from the bedroom to the kitchen.

- June came and so did the drive - we went to Himachal to a place called Jibhi, its just like himachal but what the idea of Himachal is about. More pristine, less commercial. Our very own working travel. 10 days of pure bliss.

- Met my bhanja for the first time - trust me my buoy, mamashree will be back.

- Kitty was neglected and she made me feel every moment of that neglect. Cost me a bomb just to get her started again, but we are ready to move and Siliserh lake was the perfect ride.

- 2 brothers got married (not to each other obviously) and November was non-stop party. Saare bhai behano ne saari formalities hataa di.

And just like that me and the missus completed 1 year together, celebrated at the aptly named heaven on earth. A heady mix of beauty and barbwire, gulistan and gunmen, of warmth and simmering wrath. There is no in between when you visit Kashmir, it is probably the most beautiful place in the world and probably the most heavily militarised place in the world. Javed bhai makes it to my blog because he was the one that made the trip happen, we merely made the bookings, a gem of guide and driver - kept us safe, on time and entertained.

- Tadoba happened again and tadoba never disappoints, bringing me to the best video i have ever taken on my phone. Phenomenal. (to be shared on Intl. tigers day)

Looking at my grand memories from '21 , there is something missing from said grandeur. Sometimes a piece of your old life, the company of friends in a simpler time, so many lost already, so many still not found. I wistfully remember such caring friendships we had built, eroded bare by the sand of time. So entangled in the web of daily lives and in these moments i turn 35, I remember the words of Gulzar steel me one more time: "Shaam Kat-ti nahi aur saal guzarte chale jaa rahe hain"

On this emotional note, to friends who have lost touch - Chillarnaire amar hai aur amar rahega.

Agley mod pe maut khadi hai, marne ki bhi kya jaldi hai.